Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Drug-Related Mystery Solved!

The Evidence:

First, this mysterious pill appeared on the desk in my office (not in my house.) I was totally baffled by it. I decided that someone else must have dropped it in my office, and the cleaning staff put it on my desk. The "L" was intriguing: Lipitor? Lorazepam? Lomotil???? I had no clue, and threw it out, hoping it wasn't someone's very expensive prescription. I told Doug about it, and he had no idea either. . . .


The Mystery Intensifies. . . the Drugs Multiply . . . Paranoid Precautions are Taken:

The next day, I found these two pills on the floor in my house! Doug also looked at them, and then we looked suspiciously at each other.

(Was my husband secretly a drug-abusing klutz, dropping his pills? Did DH have a dread disease that he was keeping from me? Did I really have a multiple personality disorder, and one part of me engaged in active drug-seeking behavior?) My husband suggested that maybe he walked in his sleep???????? (That made NO sense!)

We thought about calling my sister, MaryAnn, and describing the pills. . . she might at least know what they were. . .

I checked the tread on the bottom of my shoes, thinking maybe I had walked on a pile of pills in the snow (and they didn't dissolve?) but got stuck on my shoes, leaving one in my office, two at home. . . . But the tread was too smooth. . .

Finally, we did what any rational, law-abiding, smart, middle-aged empty-nesters would do if they were being stalked by a trail of "L" drugs:

We called our daughter at her college and told her that if we turned up dead or missing, to call the police and give them the clue that we had been being stalked by these pills and it was probably related. . .



The Guilty Party Identified:

And you all think Bonnie is just a sweet, innocent dog! But now you'll learn about her sneaky and secretive side!

I walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up the bottle of baby aspirin. Every day, Doug rolls up a little pill (A Little yellow pill with an "L" on it! How much more of a hint did we need, given that Bonnie is a yellow lab!!!) in a ball of peanut butter and buries it in her breakfast. She usually gulps down her food, slurping it, licking the bowl clean, moving the bowl all around the kitchen floor. And we feel better thinking that she'll have less aches and pains with her arthritis, and that this will protect the slightly enlarged heart of our 14 1/2 year old pooch.


And apparently, over the last 3 days, after she'd gobbled down her breakfast, she'd slink into the living room and surreptitiously drop the pill, sucked clean of all the peanut butter, onto the floor or onto the bag I carry to my office.

So if you have anything amiss in your life, think Bonnie! . . . because it turns out that she's much more clever and less innocent than she looks!

26 comments:

Sharon said...

Wow! That is some good tongue work Bonnie! lol

Barb said...

That is so funny!

Margaret said...

Go Bonnie! What a story. You had me intrigued to the end. The photos of the pills are great, too! Very tiny!

Gypsy Girl said...

What a mystery. Shame on you Bonnie. I hate when they get old and are achey.

Kristen Wagner Penn said...

What a smart doggie!! I loved the way you told the story!

Erika said...

LOL Our dog got into our Claritin (sp?) pills one day...

PAPA SPARKY said...

I don’t know, Bonnie looks entirely innocent to me. I think it must be the cat!

Rachael said...

Oh my gosh how funny! Great pictures, I love how you captured the story!

CindyTykie said...

I love this story and Bonnie looks innocent to me LOL

Jess said...

Oh WOW, she IS a clever dog! That is hilarious! I guess your hubby will have to start crushing up the aspirin and mixing it into the peanut butter... maybe that would get by your smarty pants pooch! :)

pat said...

You know, Bonnie came to mind right away. We had a dog who did the same thing. You could hide that pill in anything, and he could extract it without dissolving it!

Michelle-J said...

Oh, my heck! this made me laugh so loud! My dog does that with his arthritis meds some days. We hide it in a treat but he has this way of eating the whole treat and dropping the pill. Great story!

Jena Photography said...

Such a smart dog. TFS your story.

Michelle said...

Ok, that is hysterical! Love her anti-pill popping skills!

Nicki, said...

Ok - but how, Watson, did she get the pill to your office?

Jackie's Shot said...

Very funny. ~Jackie

shirley said...

I think Smart and Clever are the correct descriptions for Miss Bonnie with her puppy-cute eyes. I bet that coating on the aspirin is tasty or else she wouldn't lick it off!

Lauren said...

Are you serious? Oh my gosh, your dog is something else!

Suzy said...

This literally made me laugh-out-loud! Especially at the part where you called your daughter.. oh and the snow pile of pills LOL! You have such a way with words! Great post and I'm with Bonnie... I'd probably suck the peanut butter off and hide it to LOL!

Mandy said...

Oh I just love your story Pat...this is a riot. WOW...I can't get over that Bonnie has been so naughty. I never saw it coming. I am very glad you don't have a multiple personality though. I was starting to wonder.

Amy said...

LOL!! That's awesome!

Jeanne said...

Fantastic! LOVE your writing skills and your humor...isn't it always the one you'd least suspect?? Still waters and all that.

You NEED to scrap this!

Reds said...

Bonnie is very clever!! Who would have thought!! ;) TFS!

Becky said...

Ha! That's hilarious! I've found some peanut-butter-licked-off pills around here a time or two.

Amy said...

So funny, I love the way you told the story...made it so intriguing and me yearning for more info! :)

p.s. IS is Canon Image Stabilization, you were right! I am going to ask again today, hopefully, I'll get a response.

Maria said...

Awww . . . ! I love this story. Poor Bonnie and her arthritis. Clever story-telling, Angela! Loved this!