Delta Airlines on the Naughty List; American Express on the Nice!

I definitely need to give credit to American Express for getting me a credit on my account yesterday, when Delta just kept dropping and tossing the ball. For those of you who asked about "Peggy" as the Delta customer rep, I have to say that "Peggy" actually was much nicer than Delta's reps!

And American Express never even hung up on me or sent me to some kind of "hold/Alternate Universe" to stagnate for all eternity! So they really are getting to be on the "nice" list. But Delta? They SCARE me!



Now, on to more festive, happier things! Maria asked about the errant Flamenco dancer and the back story on that ornament.

That's the thing about Christmas trees and ornaments; one way or another they come to resemble your family and philosophy about family.

Our tree is, shall we say, "eclectic." If I were a highly controlling, highly organized, person (shush, offspring!) I'd have "rules" about the ornaments. But there are none. Everyone gets to pick an ornament every year.
And it goes on the tree.

In childhood, I remember one year, we "had" to have our tree decorated in the style of my dear Auntie "I". Antie "I" made little poof balls, that kind of look like modern day loofsahs, in various bright colors. And that was all that was allowed on the tree. It was really lame. Whenever I take my glasses off and look at ornaments, and just see a ball of amorphous, feathered light, that's what the tree looked like.

Our trees now are decorated with ornaments that have quite a range of stories and personalities and mysterious origins. The Flamenco Dancer that piqued Maria's curiosity is on a miniature Fiesta Ware dish. Doug gave it to me in 1997, because he spotted it somewhere, and I collect Fiesta Ware. There's no logic why such an object should be on our tree. I mean, why are there half moons, and miniature Christmas Story leg lamps, Star Trek figures, Barbie dolls, and fish with big lips on our tree?

Nobody knows, but someone liked it, it came from somewhere, and all are welcome on the tree unless they misbehave!

Proactiv Hell and their Evil Robots

Proactiv is staffed by Evil Robots! Ok, so it's a wonderful product, Proactiv cleanser. My daughter likes to use it, and sadly, once in a while, I like to use it as well. But, OMG! They have the most frustrating customer service on the planet!

Only read this if you're really, really bored!

I tried to avoid the phone call to Proactiv by going through their web site. Ha! What delusional disorder came upon me letting me think that I might escape their special brand of torture? While trying to figure out if there was some way I could just order two lousy bottles of their skin cleanser, a mystery "chat" square opened up. So, I naively asked my question:

Me: "Can I order two bottles of your cleanser? I don't know my account number."
Evil Robot: "Let's move the chat window to the bottom of the screen while we chat."

Disconnect

I try again:
Me: "Can I order two bottles of your cleanser? I don't know my account number."
Evil Robot: "Are you a member? Once you order our initial package, you can order individual products in the future."
Me: "I don't know if I'm a current member. I used to be, but stopped ordering. Can I still order two bottles of your cleanser?"

Disconnect

I try again:
Me: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you still there? Are you going to answer my question?"
Evil Robot: "And what was your question again?"
Me: "I don't know my account number. I don't know if I'm a current member. I used to order your product and stopped when I had too a large a back log because of your negative option program. Can I still order two bottles of your cleanser?"
Evil Robot: (long, long silence)
Me: "Are you still there? Can I order two bottles of your cleanser?"
Evil Robot: "Are you a current member?"
Me: "I don't know if I'm a current member. Can I order two bottles of your cleanser? Can you just please say Yes or No?"
Evil Robot: Thank you for contacting Proactiv. If you have any other questions, please call us at 1 800 252-7774

Grrrrr. I think about ordering it on E-bay, and why I stopped ordering Proactiv in the first place. Then I think that maybe the cleanser on Ebay is really empty Proactiv bottles refilled with baby lotion, or pee, and I call the number.

Sweet Sounding Foreign Worker from the Movie "Outsourced": "Can I have your credit card number please?"
Me: "Ummm. . . first I have some questions. Can I just order two bottles of your skin cleanser? I used to have an account but I haven't ordered in a long time."
Sweet Sounding Foreign Worker from the Movie "Outsourced" who probably lives on 13 and a half cents a day: "No. You have to order the entire cleaning system initially, and then receive shipments every 60 days for all eternity. Would you like to be billed in one or two easy payments?"
Me: "Ok, two payments. What comes in the initial order?"

Ok, so then the
Sweet Sounding Foreign Worker from the Movie "Outsourced" who knows how to make offers sound like bargains that she hates to mention but she just couldn't live with herself if she didn't let me in on this very special deal that I would be a total fool to pass up proceeded to get my agreement to I don't even know what now. Some 5 or 3 bottle system, that is either 2 oz or 4 oz, with a travel kit with 3 more bottles of I-don't-know what and a special gift thrown in. Plus in 60 days or 30 days I will receive another shipment in the mail which will also cost me some unspecified sum of money that will be of course be charged to my credit card, also for all eternity. Sorry about that little short-fall for your tuition next semester, Dianna!

Next time, I'm just scrubbing down my face with ShamWow! and telling my daughter to deal with it!


And this photo has nothing to do with this post, but what's a post without a photo?

Oh, Woeful Day! ShameWow :( Evil

Is nothing sacred? It's with heavy heart that I write this post. I am just crushed! My good friend, Jeanne, wrote in yesterday's post comment about Vince, the ShameWow:( LowLife, that there were news announcements that Vince had been arrested for allegedly beating up a prostitute (one who wouldn't let go of his tongue.) Eeewwwwwwwww! Now, this is NOT something that can be cleaned up with a ShameWow:(.

I don't know what to think. My bubble is burst; my illusions are destroyed. Will there be a morning after?

I find myself looking suspiciously at ShameWow:(, and suspecting that there's Actual Evil inherent in its spongey yellowness.

I combed my recent photos, and think I've found further evidence of its Nefarious Influence. Look at these two, perfectly fine, sweet, intelligent, upstanding individuals, who would normally give you the shirt (ShameWow:() off their backs:



ShameWow:( turned them into Vicious Hounds, tearing at each other, tooth and claw, to win the Precious ShameWow:(. Oh, the horror of it all!

Why, oh why did I not listen to Dylan the ShameWow:( Detector (and son of Sheila)? He was right, all along, about Vince.

Excuse me, now. I have to stop writing. And go wash my hands. :( :( :(

Oh, and the GOOD NEWS is that although the river is now at 49.5 feet, we still seem to be doing fine in Grand Forks, ND!!!! Hooray! We should have our first crest soon, and then apparently a second crest later this month. But I know it's going to be tough on Fargo, once they assess their damage.