Eulogy for the Best Dog Ever

Turn back, Time, for this brown shadow
Give her one more lap around the yard
One more chance to escape out the front door
One more chance to drool a fur soaked ball into my purse
One more paw placed on a lap for comfort and one more look
from soul-full, ocean-deep eyes.

Goodbye, little friend,




The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie
November 1994 - July 27, 2010

"Let the Great World Spin"--The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie's Take

Before I get to The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie's review of "Let the Great World Spin," by Colum McCann, I thought you might like to see how she spins (She likes to try out an enactment of her books when she reviews them):







And now for a well deserved belly rub:



The Beautiful Ms.Bonnie, having just finished reading Colum McCann's "Let the Great World Spin," says that her head is still spinning, almost as fast as her tail.

She says that some books have great characters but limp plots; some have wonderful plot, but dull characters. It's the rare, delicious book that has both great plot AND character.

"Let the Great World Spin" completely slides out of this categorization into a completely different realm; It has ten or so complex characters, each intertwined around the unfolding of events of one single day, August, 1974, in New York City. But the main character of the plot IS this snapshot of New York City on this day in 1974.

It's the day when a tightrope walker, Phillippe Petit, walks a trajectory between the Twin Towers. It's the orbit knitted together through the likes of Claire, who loses her son in Viet Nam, or Tillie, the hooker grandmother who tries to save her heroine-addicted daughter from another stint in jail.

The devastating stories of these people propel them to near-despair, but only as you approach the end of the book do you realize how masterfully MCann paints the picture of their orbit, bound by hope, connection, and compassion. You may think you've finished the book when it ends, but as you find your mind wandering back to it in the days to come, you realize you yourself have come to be within the gravitational pull of this novel.

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie gave "Let the Great World Spin" only 4 stars out of 5 because there are some parts of the book that drag. It is well worth sticking with the book anyway, but those are the moments in which she found it easy to be distracted and focused more on the mechanics of what it was the author was trying to accomplish, rather than being absorbed in the novel itself. But 4 out of 5 ain't bad!

The Book Thief

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie feels honored to review "The Book Thief," by Markus Zusak, a book deserving a 5 star rating, if ever there was one.

It may seem strange to have a book narrated by Death, but then again,you're reading a review of a book by a 15 1/2 year old yellow lab, so why not a book narrated by Death.
Although this sounds grim,"Death" transports the souls of the newly dead with a great deal of compassion and sensitivity, although it is unclear whether the dead are aware of this care.

"The Book Thief" is set in Nazi Germany, and is witness to the life of a girl who steals books. You'll fall in love with the characters, will feel joy in temporarily "knowing" them, but you'll also have to brace yourself for the nightmares of this book.

One passage in the book raises the question of guilt, of how to feel toward the German people. On the one hand, there is sympathy for those caught in the web of war, the Germans. . . . and then juxtaposed, side-by-side, is the gut-wrenching reality of Jews who had even less choice in the wretched massacre called the holocaust.

The author beautifully crafts words, at times making them the subject of the book, at times, using them to animate objects, sky, color, in a way that leads you to feel beauty in even the most despairing of human situations. At other times, the author beautifully teases and foreshadows with words: "Two telling moments, however, were on their way."

Of course a book is of words, but there's a profound undercurrent in this book about words: Words and silence helped create the holocaust; words helped stand against it. In one agonizing scene, Jews are marched through a street near Munich, and the author, or Death, says: "The suffering faces of depleted men and women reached across to them, pleading not so much for help--they were beyond that--but for an explanation." . . .for words.

If you haven't read this book yet, if you EVER intend to read another book, let it be this one.

But after you read it, you may need to rest from words for awhile.

The Barnes & Noble Nook: The Art of Racing in the Rain

It's just too much! Maybe one of you can talk some sense into Angela! First, she and Doug go on a cruise. And then, while they're on this cruise, Angela reads this book on her nook and asks me to review it!

It's just too much to ask of a dog!

The books is " The Art of Racing in the Rain," by Garth Stein. It's narrated by a sweet, noble, lab mix, on the last day of his life. This fine creature understands that it's time to be. . . . Get This!. . . . "put down" and reminisces about his life.

It's a totally maudlin book. . . a real tear jerker (How could it not be?!), as Enzo philosophically takes you into the devastating details of his owners/family. He tells of his beloved Denny, and the death of sweet, young Eve just a few short years into their marriage.

And, as if that's not sad enough, then Denny has to battle his in-laws to retain custody of the cute little Zoe, their 3 year old daughter.

If you are in the mood for a sad, sweet book, this is perfect. If every once in awhile, lifetime Someone's-going-to-die movies appeal to you, ---like maybe on a rainy, or cold, winter day, you'll like this.

It's not funny, like "Marley and Me," but it's about a dog, and that can never be all bad. But is this really the right book, I ask you, for a Disney Cruise?????

I mean, isn't Disney suppose to be "the happiest place on earth?" You're not suppose to curl up someplace with your nook, and cry! Sheeeeeeesh!

OK. . . . Now I'll turn this over to Angela.

"Errr, Thanks Bonnie. That was. . . . uh. . . . great.

I just want to tell a few more things about the Barnes & Noble Nook. I debated for several years about getting the Kindle. . . and there was just something about only being able to read books that I bought through Kindle that just made me hesitant.

I heard about the Nook in November, and for no apparent reason, with little research, I ordered it! It wasn't even out yet! I knew that it was suppose to have a system in which you could add books from other sources, like ereader.com or fictionwise.com or google books, and this was definitely a selling factor for me.

It's also suppose to work with overdrive, a library system, if your local library subscribes to this, which would allow you to add your library's ebooks onto the reader. I'm hoping our itty bitty little library will eventually have this.

It has a "lend" feature, which allows for the lending of some books, once, to someone else for 14 days. Message boards are springing up that help provide a forum for this "brokering" of exchanges.

I've been able to add pdfs to it, and have acquired a number of free books--at this point, mostly directly through barnes & noble.

One major problem I experienced with the nook was with registering it. It was suppose to work over the AT&T 3G network, including in Edge areas or partner areas. Ha! Not in the hinterlands of North Dakota! Nor apparently, in places like Montana, Wyoming, SD, Kansas. . . only in definite AT&T solid blue 3G areas. Once registered, it works over home wifi, but the initial registration involved my driving to Minneapolis, some 300 miles away, to do this. It wasn't actually necessary. . . just made it easier to order books "over the air" directly onto the nook, without having to sideload them with a USB cable connecting it to my computer.

This past week, the firmware V1.2 came out, and once I installed it, even mine would now register in ND. Others in the "wilderness" areas are now being to register their nooks as well.

This thing is awesome! I'm really enjoying reading on it. You turn pages by just gently swiping a finger very lightly a small distance across the bottom. I can listen to music on it while I read, and even add my own photos to display as the screensavers if I want to. The e-ink display is very easy on the eyes for reading, much nicer than a computer screen, and if I want to, I can change font style and size. (I usually want to if I'm walking on a treadmill or using an exercise bike.) At this point, most recent NYT bestsellers directly from B&N cost between $5 and $10, although depending on what publishers do, this may, unfortunately, change.

A strange aside of the nook are the message boards of B&N regarding the nook. It reminds me of Stephen King's "Under the Dome." If you remember Bonnie's review of this book, people end up in opposing camps, with all sorts of characterological quirks emerging; basically your usual human melodrama whenever you get more than a handful of people together.

That's what the B&N nook boards are like! I kid you not; people have even threatened to take out someone's grandmother on it! And then there are the usual grown-up sorts who basically provide technical assistance as the quirks of a brand new technical gadget are worked out. I find the boards to be fairly addictive reading themselves! (Bonnie thinks I need to get out more!)

And she's right; I need to give her a less challenging assignment for her next review!

It's Gone to her Head!

Thank you, everyone, for all your very nice comments on the Beautiful Ms. Bonnie and her book reviews.

But I fear it's gone to her head! She's now taken to donning sunglasses, to avoid being plagued by fans wanting autographs. . . .




Oh, there's no living with her now! She tries to place orders for treats (actually, she asks that pretty relentlessly in general).

But this is where I may have to draw the line. I WILL NOT fetch her ball for her,

. . . . no, I will NOT!

. . . but she disapproves of my laziness. . . .

Actually, if you like the Beautiful Ms. Bonnie's book reviews, you can click on the "books" label in the sidebar on the right, and read any you might have missed. And I'm sure sweet Bonnie will gradually return to her silly old self. . .

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie & the Four Agreements

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie has just finished another book, and is pleased with it. She says she's more philosophical these days, being in her dotage and all, and liked grappling with some of these spiritual/meaning-of-life/what is heaven?/what is hell? questions.

The author, Don Miguel Ruiz, offers a code of conduct for humans, based on ancient Toltec wisdom, to make people happier:

1. Be impeccable with your word

2.Don't take anything personally

3. Don't make assumptions

4. Always do your best.

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie thinks this is just fine for humans, gives the book 3 paws up, but made some amendments for the dog world. She said:

"1. What the heck? I ALWAYS keep my word, except for those very special circumstances, like if you leave a whole pan of cookies on the counter. Of course, I'll tell you I'd never ever, ever, touch them. But what self-respecting dog wouldn't? And about leaving the front door open a crack? I'm outa here! I'm sniffing out good dog poop and email messages in the neighborhood, and finding decaying-meat delicacies. On that, I give you my word!

2. Silly people, really, you shouldn't. I really, really love you from the bottom of my heart, all the time, even if I chew up the remote or throw-up in your shoes. But I will take it personally if you act like you're going to take me for a walk, and don't. How could you? Just look into my beautiful brown, SAD, eyes!

3. Well, clearly, this doesn't apply to me. I assume you will treat me every time you walk in the door.

4. I do, but people don't. You're all so . . . dramatic. . . and WHY are you trying to be best at those things? The real secrets of life should be to be best at these things: Sleep a lot, especially in the sunny spots. Smell everything. Never pass up getting body parts scratched. Enjoy your food. Know that your people are the Best and Totally Good. And know that you are loved."

"Books are humanity in print." Barbara W. Tuchman

I Blog, Therefore I Am.

Well, . . . not really. But I really, really do like blogging! And today, I thought I'd update you on how Bonnie is doing, and tell you about a new little tool I learned about in the Blogging for Scrapbookers class.

Bonnie's paw is a little better this week, but we're still not feeling very confident about this. I've read that older dogs are stoics. . . that there is survival-value for a dog to not reveal illness if it can help it, so by the time a dog is making it clear that they're hurting, they may be in a great deal of pain. I looked up the medication Bonnie was on, and found it that Rimadyl is not a steroid, but a pain killer. She's out of this medication now, and what I worry about is that she'll now show signs of being in pain again.

This past summer, while Doug was away, I indulged The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie with this food, and she's been quite impressed with it ever since. Pardon our blur, but she was on the move, and I was experimenting with my external flash. I'd set the external flash at +1 exposure, and the camera exposure at -1.0. Wait a minute! Hold the phone! I think I know what I did wrong! I set the CAMERA FLASH EXPOSURE at -1.0 instead of the CAMERA EXPOSURE at -1.0! Time to check the manual again; maybe that's why the flash didn't freeze the action!

The tool that I learned about has to do with Google Reader. Using the Reader is a great way to read others' blog posts, but it's nice to use the reader to conveniently gather the posts to read. What I learned is that if you sign into your Google account, and go to http://reader.google.com click on settings, and then click on "goodies" , you'll see a little bubble labeled "next." You can drag the "next" bubble right onto your browser bookmarks bar. Now, whenever you click on "next" on your bookmarks bar, you'll bring up posts in your Google reader.

Also at http://reader.google.com, in "settings", then "goodies", you can find the "subscribe" bubble. Drag this to your bookmarks bar as well. Now, everytime you're reading a blog post (like mine, perhaps?) and think you'd like to read this person's blog again, just click on your "subscribe" button that's sitting happily (or at least obediently) on your bookmarks bar. If the blog lets you sign on as a follower, this accomplishes the same thing (oh, look! Mine again!), but the "subscribe" button is handy when a blog doesn't have a "follow" widget already built into the blog. (And of course, you might like to subscribe to my blog, even though "I Blog, Therefore I Am" is not true, but I do have SOME narcissism, and really, really do like when people read my blog.)

The Beautiful Ms.Bonnie says there are some Sad things in life

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie read the book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. She doesn't have a photo of the book, because she already lent it to someone else, so she's showing a self-portrait with her kleenex. She says she needed it for this book; she cried as she read this book. She said she started out thinking she was going along for a light-hearted read, and then was sucked into the vortex of one of the saddest times in modern history, the German occupation of Guernsey in the Channel Islands, just off the coast of England, during World War II.

Bonnie said she enjoyed the quirkiness of the characters, although some have criticized that the voice of the individual characters are not distinctiveness. They were still fun to get to know! It's just that she found if very sad to get this glimpse of human cruelty and deprivation.

Bonnie's also feeling sad these days because her foot hurts. She's a determined trooper, and can be quite playful even if it does hurt. She turns 15 years old this month, and just had to take a little ride to the vet; the vet said she has a tumor in her paw, and that if the oral steroids and antibiotics don't seem to be making a difference for her next week, surgery or "maybe it's time to talk about other alternatives" are on the horizon. :(

And yesterday, Shannon asked about whether I bounced the flash, or used a diffuser. I did use a diffuser, but don't remember if this particular shot was bounced, or direct flash. Unfortunately, I can't find metadata included in Bridge on the flash settings; this might not be encoded in the shots. Does anyone know?

And Shannon is right! Bouncing a flash (aiming the flash toward a white wall, or ceiling, so that a large area of light is reflected onto your subject) tends to make a much more pleasing shot, with less harsh shadows. I think my shot may have had some shadows that were coming from the sunlight behind it, and bounce may not have prevented all of this, but especially in a dark room, bounce is best!

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie & Harriet & Isabella

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie would like to bring another book to your attention. She just finished reading an historical novel, "Harriet & Isabella," by Patricia O'Brien, and wants to tell you a few things about this book. She says, "It's a good read, but if there's something else compelling going on in your life, it might be a bit difficult to get into initially. The book is about Harriet Beacher Stowe, the author of "Uncle Tom's Cabin", and her sister, Isabella Beecher Hooker, a late 1800s suffragist. They have opposing views about their brother, Henry.

See if any of this sounds familiar: Henry is a very powerful minister, with strong religious admonitions to his congregation about leading a righteous life. However, he's being accused of having an affair with a married woman. The trial about this is part scandal, part media circus, and part righteous, judgmental, indignation. In the process, women's lives are ruined, and one woman (Victoria) is thrown in prison for trying to speak up. She's quite unpopular because she's got the audacity to want women to have the right to vote; naturally, she's considered insane. It all turns out quite well for old Henry; in fact, he's really good at landing on his feet, and people practically swoon in admiration of him."

"Dang," says Bonnie. "I could swear I've heard this story before! It just sounds so familiar. . . so. . . deja vu!" (Don't tell Bonnie, but she has a horrible french accent.)


The book just really made her feel like the more things change, the more they stay the same in life--including some of the strides that women have made over the years. It seems like some of these really got lost somewhere along the way.

But, Bonnie also said that when she was done with the book, she was done!

Bonnie in Her Halloween Finery and Go Twins!

Bonnie accommodated us, as we got our carpeting cleaned, by spending the night at Doggie Daycare, and getting a bath in the morning. They spiffed her up with a Halloween bandana!



And she was quite pleased with all the attention this garnered for her! (But if my family sees this shot, they might be quite shocked by the fact that I let Bonnie climb up on the couch to pose for her portrait.)

She got to go for a little ride with me to through the prescription drive-through, and the pharmacist technician were very taken by Bonnie. She didn't mind at all that they decided to give her a very large dog bisquit.

And Doug was also somewhat jubilant on Tuesday, not for dog bisquits, but because of how well the Twins did in winning the game. I skipped photographing him on Wednesday, when the Yankees won :(
Truthfully, I get more excited about photography than baseball!

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie & The Help

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie was photographed showing her blissful reaction to this book. She'd hoped for another sunny day when the book itself could be photographed, but time and weather conspired against this.

But she feels very passionate about this book!

She says, "If you're only going to read one book this year, read this one. And then read it twice! It's even worth skipping a frolic in the compost pile and a rabbit chase, it's so good! This book is the first by the author, Kathryn Stockett, and I hope she writes another book soon!

'The Help' traces the lives of 3 women in Mississippi during the summer of 1962. The 22 year old Skeeter has just gotten her degree and wants to write. She is a naive young-un, and stumbles on the idea of writing what it's like to be 'the help' in the South during these years. The other two women who are followed in the book are Aibileen and Minnie, two of the maids who ultimately agree to be interviewed by Skeeter. This author really KNOWS how to write; I mean, really, really KNOWS how to make you fall in love with her characters, to see the world through their eyes, to make you root for the good-guys and wish foul happenings to the bad. . . ."

Bonnie also points out that if you had the horrendous misfortune to have read her previously reviewed book, "Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral," you're likely still suffering, and this book could well be the perfect antidote for that poison!

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie & Traveling Funeral

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie felt compelled to review this book and warn all potential readers to avoid it! She borrowed the book from me, as I was reading it for my book club, and then she did me the splendid favor of throwing it in the trash. Bonnie said that I should not even donate it to a thrift store as it would be almost criminal to inflict this drivel on someone else.

Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish LOOKED like it would be a funny and woman-empowering read. The premise is that a "funeral" is arranged by a woman, just before she dies, for 4 of her friends. They've never met each other, and Annie leaves them instructions, tickets, money, sending them off to visit 4 cities of significance to her while she was alive.


Sounds like it could be a two-week adventure and Bonnie thought she'd come to be very involved with the quirky characters throughout the trip. But Bonnie made horrific gagging noises and said that if Annie hadn't already "died", she'd want to kill her herself, along with her martyr-like friends.



Bonnie thinks the biggest problem with the book is. . . well. . . the writing! The author has this maddening habit of taking a sentence (like "She wondered if. . . . ) and then using it like a sentence completion stem, filling in the blank about 10 times, until you wanted to stab the book with an ice pick.

(This would be a typical style, especially the last segment: She wondered if this book was secretly a plot to make everyone pluck out their eyeballs and swear off reading for all time; she wondered if the author's word processor had an obsessive compulsive disorder and had to repeat the same phrases over and over again; she wondered if the sickening silver of the shiny moon would infuse their hearts with the love they felt toward Annie and make them howl in unison at the crack of dawn every day.)

And the worst thing, the absolutely worst thing, about the book was that you really, really didn't care about the characters by the time you get to the end. Except to maybe wish foul things upon them and then have to feel some guilt for that. The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie thinks we all tend to feel enough guilt in life, without having murderous-thoughts-toward-fictional-characters guilt and life is just way, way too short to waste on crappy books.

She gives this book two paws down and the BackYard Cleanup Award.

Our Little Sentinel

Here's to good old half-deaf, half-blind, demented, 14 1/2 year old geriatric dog, Bonnie, still taking her guard-dog duties seriously.

Here she is, standing guard over some waving petunias, a statue of angels with broken wings, and the palm tree that my brother-in-law Bill gave us. (Bill patiently grows a huge collection of palm trees, under grow-lights, in Chicago over the winter. He gifted us with this sweet little palm tree this year.)



Bonnie especially likes to face the fence, in case anyone happens to walk past it, and then she can bark like a maniac at them. They say a dog will live longer if it has a job to do, and apparently, Bonnie sees this as her job--guarding the petunias, angels & palms, and barking.

Bonnie's Hot because it's 90 Degrees!

Dang--our sirens are sounding re:tornado warning. I'm heading downstairs. But isn't Bonnie pretty?

The Beautiful Miss Bonnie, AnySailor.com, and FlyLady Ostrich Feather Duster

The Beautiful Miss Bonnie has identified two wonderful organizations that work to see that deployed military personnel get care packages. I've decided to go through the Any Soldier site, and within this, went to the AnySailor section. You get to identify a location and gender, and I was particularly moved by some of the requests of the female sailors who are now deployed in Afghanistan. They asked for things like "nice smelling shampoo, tuna fish in packets, Clearasil face wash, socks." And most of all, letters from anyone from "home." The Beautiful Miss Bonnie tells me I should get busy now!
AnySailor.com
SoldiersAngels.org

Dear Beautiful Miss Bonnie, My house is a mess! There's clutter and dust everywhere! What should I do?

The Beautiful Miss Bonnie says:
Do what I do. I have a lovely purple ostrich feather duster that I ordered from FlyLady.net.

Just rush through the house, perhaps not on all fours, and the ostrich feather sucks up the dust. You can shake it out on the front steps when you're done, taking care to not let any of my less-well-behaved brethren sneak out the door at the same time.

And if you must, you can prance around the house with the feather duster on your head, if you feel like looking particularly fetching.

The Navy is Not my Friend Right Now!

Well, Ok. Maybe it is. It does protect us and all that. And generally I have a very patriotic attitude, but not one that accepts all of our country's decisions unquestioningly.

But right now, I am a distraught mother, and I am NOT happy with the Navy. Scott called me on Friday and said that he has been "loaned" (abandoned) to the army; he got orders to leave for one month of state-side training, 2 months training in Kuwait, and a year in Afghanistan. I don't know that there's been a weekend that I've cried as much as this past weekend!

On Saturday, he called and said (glimmer of hope!) that it was unclear whether he was training as the "alternate" or the "primary." One definitely goes; one waits in the wing, like an understudy, I guess. I'm praying that he's not the primary, but this doesn't feel quite right, because I don't want to be hoping that some other son or daughter goes.

This is a very hard thing to wrap my mind around. Who raises a child and wants that they be plucked out by fate to face the horrors of war? It's one thing to raise a child to send them off to whatever crazy kind of life they might carve out for themselves; it's another to see them go off to a situation where you know there's a less than bearable chance you might not see them again, or that they won't come back healthy and whole.

The Beautiful Ms. Bonnie is not happy with this either, but says it's time to read "Mom's Field Guide" by Sandy Doell. I have a feeling this will be much better preparation than another book I picked up and thumbed through in the bookstore, which I don't even care to write about at this moment.



And this, from another world and dimension (St. Olaf College) is one of their many beautiful, peaceful, areas on campus.

About Swine Flu, The Beautiful Miss Bonnie says "Stay Safe."

She's not worried about swine flu. But she does say, "Cover your mouth if you cough. Wash your hands. A lot. Avoid sickies. And if you're sick, stay home curled up in your little bed."



See? Cute AND smart.

More Fowl Appearances of the Unusual Sort and Professor Bonnie's Book Review

This is a duck. This is a duck that was standing in my driveway this morning! For no apparent reason! I've lived here for 25 years, and have never, ever, seen a duck standing in my driveway. Or on my block. Or anywhere in my neighborhood! Just standing there, looking at my house (of course.) I don't really know Which Side this duck is on, but since it wasn't dismantling my house, I'm going to assume in was standing sentinel on MY side. An owl recruit, no doubt.




There are times when you've just got to call in a professional. Professor Bonnie is taking an instructional role in teaching me more about LAB in photoshop, in part because of her affinity for all things "lab."



Oh, and I botched it yesterday, not correctly embedding the link to the video I wanted to show you on LAB mode, so here it is again today.

A Drug-Related Mystery Solved!

The Evidence:

First, this mysterious pill appeared on the desk in my office (not in my house.) I was totally baffled by it. I decided that someone else must have dropped it in my office, and the cleaning staff put it on my desk. The "L" was intriguing: Lipitor? Lorazepam? Lomotil???? I had no clue, and threw it out, hoping it wasn't someone's very expensive prescription. I told Doug about it, and he had no idea either. . . .


The Mystery Intensifies. . . the Drugs Multiply . . . Paranoid Precautions are Taken:

The next day, I found these two pills on the floor in my house! Doug also looked at them, and then we looked suspiciously at each other.

(Was my husband secretly a drug-abusing klutz, dropping his pills? Did DH have a dread disease that he was keeping from me? Did I really have a multiple personality disorder, and one part of me engaged in active drug-seeking behavior?) My husband suggested that maybe he walked in his sleep???????? (That made NO sense!)

We thought about calling my sister, MaryAnn, and describing the pills. . . she might at least know what they were. . .

I checked the tread on the bottom of my shoes, thinking maybe I had walked on a pile of pills in the snow (and they didn't dissolve?) but got stuck on my shoes, leaving one in my office, two at home. . . . But the tread was too smooth. . .

Finally, we did what any rational, law-abiding, smart, middle-aged empty-nesters would do if they were being stalked by a trail of "L" drugs:

We called our daughter at her college and told her that if we turned up dead or missing, to call the police and give them the clue that we had been being stalked by these pills and it was probably related. . .



The Guilty Party Identified:

And you all think Bonnie is just a sweet, innocent dog! But now you'll learn about her sneaky and secretive side!

I walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up the bottle of baby aspirin. Every day, Doug rolls up a little pill (A Little yellow pill with an "L" on it! How much more of a hint did we need, given that Bonnie is a yellow lab!!!) in a ball of peanut butter and buries it in her breakfast. She usually gulps down her food, slurping it, licking the bowl clean, moving the bowl all around the kitchen floor. And we feel better thinking that she'll have less aches and pains with her arthritis, and that this will protect the slightly enlarged heart of our 14 1/2 year old pooch.


And apparently, over the last 3 days, after she'd gobbled down her breakfast, she'd slink into the living room and surreptitiously drop the pill, sucked clean of all the peanut butter, onto the floor or onto the bag I carry to my office.

So if you have anything amiss in your life, think Bonnie! . . . because it turns out that she's much more clever and less innocent than she looks!

Little Ducklings, All in a Row

One of These Peeps is Not Like All the Others!

Sorry, Dianna, about raiding your Easter basket.