Sunday, July 17, 2011

Mosquito Zombies of North Dakota

They are evil, and they are quick. They are North Dakota mosquitoes, rivaling our state buffalo! And they are prolific.

And they love me.

Apparently, they are no match for:

1.) 2 teaspoons daily of cider vinegar (I'll try anything!)

2.) lavender oil dabbed here and there

3.) Avon Skin so Soft bug guard (the last bastion of my hopes and dreams of not being devoured by these heartless blood-suckers)

I foolishly ventured outside and tried to do a 5 minute raid on the garden weeds, but after 17 bites, I stopped counting.

But I'm not giving up! I only applied a light spray of the Avon Skin so Soft, and started glugging Apple Cider vinegar (God Save Me!) this morning, so there's still hope!

I have read that the real defense against mosquitoes is straight DEET, plentiful and unsparingly, but I hate the smell and it scares me that Ruby, who likes to slather me in doggy kisses, would probably start glowing in the night if I use Off as much as I want, so I'm trying other approaches.

Doug, my ever sympathetic Beloved Spouse, said, "At least you don't have tuberculosis."

What makes husband say such things????????????????


Maria said...

Huh? It boggles the mind how husbands think. Mosquitos also love to nosh on me on a regular basis. I've been told to avoid eating bananas when I plan to be outdoors, also putting in my pockets Bounce sheets (unused). Lately, I've seen advertised on TV these personal mosquito repelent widgets and I keep meaning to go to the store and pick one up. At least the apple cider vinegar is good for you . . . add a little raw honey and you have a really good detoxing cocktail . . . :-)

Nicki said...

Vinegar you say? Bounce sheet in the pocket? I used to get eaten alive by mosquitoes - not so much anymore. Guess I am timing my outdoor adventures to non-mosquito hours. (or maybe it has something to do with living in chemical valley - scary thought!).

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh my gosh, I'm sorry to be laughing so hard at your misery but AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE TB?!?! That is TOO FUNNY!!!!!! He's good for a laugh at least, that husband of yours, even if he didn't offer much in the way of sympathy.

Sorry about the bites. I hope you find something that works. :-( :-( :-(

Margaret said...

Such an interesting comment from the husband. Do you feel better now? :) Those mosquitoes sound especially mean. Be careful out there!

Barb said...

Whenever I confront Bob about such remarkss he ususally says "I'm just a man." So maybe Doug is "just a man". :)
Those bites look nasty!

Amanda said...

Ugh! I feel your pain. I've had a bite on my side for two weeks now, and it won't stop itching...I can't stop scratching. I hope your bites resolve more quickly.

The whole TB comment initially made me wonder if I missed some research about mosquitos not biting people with TB...I don't watch the news ;)

pat said...

Ok, I can't even begin to discern how his train of thought arrived at the tuberculosis station! Sheesh! My DD has one of those Off pocket fan thingies, and it WORKS. You can clip it to a belt or pocket, or set it on a table near you if you want to read outside.

Reds said...

I hate bugs - especially the biting kind!! And I hate Off - it stinks!! :)